Staph’s Log: When the Sweat Stopped, So Did the Funk

Staph’s Log: When the Sweat Stopped, So Did the Funk

Staph Reflects on the Fall of Body Odor

Dear Diary,

It’s over. The golden age of funk is done. My life’s work—transforming sweat into the potent thioalcohols that make body odor iconic—is obsolete.

Why? Because of Zaffré Natural Deodorant. First, a whisper of eucalyptus. Then the unmistakable zap of zinc ions. That’s when I knew: my empire had fallen.

Staph the bacteria cartoon

"Game over," I muttered, watching a sweat droplet fade into nothing.

Cory still holds hope. "It’s just a bump in the road," he says.

A bump? This is microbial extinction.

Now I watch in horror as humans stride confidently through their days—odor-free, irritation-free, and Zaffré-equipped.

It was a good run. But maybe... just maybe... it’s time to pivot.

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