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The Staph & Cory Chronicles: Tales from the Underarm Underground
Staph’s Log: When the Sweat Stopped, So Did the Funk

Staph’s Log: When the Sweat Stopped, So Did the Funk
Staph Reflects on the Fall of Body Odor
Dear Diary,
It’s over. The golden age of funk is done. My life’s work—transforming sweat into the potent thioalcohols that make body odor iconic—is obsolete.
Why? Because of Zaffré Natural Deodorant. First, a whisper of eucalyptus. Then the unmistakable zap of zinc ions. That’s when I knew: my empire had fallen.

"Game over," I muttered, watching a sweat droplet fade into nothing.
Cory still holds hope. "It’s just a bump in the road," he says.
A bump? This is microbial extinction.
Now I watch in horror as humans stride confidently through their days—odor-free, irritation-free, and Zaffré-equipped.
It was a good run. But maybe... just maybe... it’s time to pivot.
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